grief, loss, Love

A Not So Fond Farewell

Leah Chrestien

The dark undertone of this poem is in accordance with one of the most significant events in my life. Since the beginning of this year, I haven’t been the same. Please bear with me as I process this inexplicable sadness and flush out my grieving thoughts through writing. Blessings.

*********************

A Not So Fond Farewell 

My raging mind
interrupted by the
harrowing thought
of you lying
speechless, senseless

alternating between
unpredictable cycles of
sleep and wakefulness

staring at everything
and nothing
all at once

i listen closely
you utter no word
beyond occasional
murmurs of pain and agony

months fly by  
your pitiful state  
an inauspicious harbinger
of unbearable realizations

followed by a foreshadowing
of what is to come 

a tearful dissolution
of my childhood 
                          a loss of safe haven
                                                         a fearful step 
                                                          towards the unknown

the unfairness of it all
punches me in the gut
as I try to cope

bawling through 
snippets and snapshots
of thirty years' worth
cherished memories

carefully stitched
fiercely protected
lovingly preserved

unwilling to let go
accept, rationalize 
or bid farewell

© Copyright: Leah Chrestien. July 2024.  The post ‘A Not So Fond Farewell’ first appeared on The Ecstatic Storyteller. The author reserves the right to the content. No reproduction of content in any form is permitted without the prior consent of the author.

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Published by Leah Chrestien

I'm a data scientist currently working for IDC and living in Prague. In my free time, I enjoy travelling, photography, hiking, theatre and literature.

32 thoughts on “A Not So Fond Farewell”

    1. Thank you, Joanna, for saying the quiet part out loud. Though overused, there is a good amount of truth when Tennyson writes, ‘It’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all’. I’m grateful and honored to have lived and loved.

      Take care, Joanna and thank you for reading.

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  3. Though you feel grief and sadness this poem is very beautiful and touching. Often the most beautiful artworks come out of the difficult things. Maybe just the one you most hope reads and hears this and sees your heart and soul and deeply understands what you feel. Certainly you have questions and they confuse you but someday someway you’ll get the answers and relief. You are not alone, love will never leave you.

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      1. Your feelings show your love and love will wipe away your tears. There is coming a day you see the sunshine in your life again. Now be just what you are and what you feel and notice that it is accepted. May love lead you..

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  7. Grief changes us, our life changes and so do we and we don’t want it. We can’t accept overnight, maybe we never really accept, but writing and sharing, I find, make us feel less alone. The rawness in your lines, touched my own rawness, from which a new me is now emerging and strengthening…. Keep sharing your touching words ….. 💞

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    1. Thank you for taking your time to write such a beautiful and inspiring comment. I hope that one day I will be able to reach the stage of acceptance. I’m glad you were able to rediscover yourself. Best wishes, always.

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  12. I resonate with this poem in so many ways. Where to begin.

    Grief cuts so deep, nights of no sleep, trying to breathe…

    You and I, have experienced loss. Thank you for stopping by my page and liking my post. As I’m sure I spoke of loss and pain. We share that loss together, and together you are not alone. I’m so sorry for your loss and my condolences for you and your family. 😦

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